What a week.
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So.
Two Saturdays ago, I mentioned that there wasn’t going to be a Saturday Top Comments diary because I was doing a Thing. My choir’s annual cabaret fundraiser. I was all good to go. All I needed to do was my regular Saturday chores, beginning with laundry. I load up, get in the car, turn the key and it starts up. First stop is my caffeine. As I’m leaving, I get a sign that says “Low engine power” as well as the traction control light. I notice that it’s not accelerating like it should but I get my caffeine. Pulling out, I’m VERY concerned by how the engine sounds and that low power message. Instead of going home or to the laundromat, I pull into a gas station and turn it off. It’s done that before, and usually restarting fixes it.
Not this time.
I turn the key, and all I hear is a “whoosh” of machinery spinning. No cranking, just a whoosh. I realize that I’m now stranded at a gas station. Now the panic sets in. I calm myself down and get a very short tow to my house. (costing more than it probably should, but that comes later)
I google the “low engine power” message and my heart drops and I go into a full blown panic attack. It means that my car was on “limp mode”. That means anything from a dirty air filter to major engine damage like a busted timing chain. Because I’m me, I panic even more, knowing it’s the timing chain.
I start contacting my siblings, and they recommend I get a tow to the shop, and get insurance to do the tow, plus see if I can get rental coverage. I respond that I’ll do it on Monday (taking a day off I don’t really have) and say that I’m not in a good place to do actual stuff.
I IMMEDIATELY get a call from my sister.
Because she knows my illness, and she KNOWS the signs. I assure her that my mental state is not yet that bad, but I can barely speak or articulate a coherent thought about the situation. Both she and one of my brothers urge me to start the process. So I do. And it does feel a little better, though the panic is still there.
My sister also encourages me to get a ride from a friend to the cabaret because Doing Things is the best therapy. And she was right. I had a good time at the cabaret, I slayed my song, and got some of the most uplifting and needed compliments. Like “beautiful”, “gorgeous”, and most impactful, “I always look forward to your singing”.
Anyway, this week I was able to get rides to both rehearsal and school from friends and colleagues. Except for one trip, where I had to do a Lyft.
Then I get a call from the shop. Bent valves and a busted timing chain. Total engine rebuild. Cost? 8-10 thousand dollars.
And then my brother urged me and fired me up to search for cars.
So Friday I went to a place, and got one. I was disappointed in my rate and monthly payment, but there it is. It’s the perfect tool for me to make positive changes in some of my habits.
And that’s a lesson. DON’T let catastrophe be the driver of creating more positive habits. Do it on your own. Karma will reward you. Now I have to do a kind of a Karmic Atonement for my bad habits. But I’m hopeful and positive. I. CAN. Do. This.
Anyway, I love my family. And they love me. We all have each other’s backs. I got help from them financially through this, and I’ll be setting up a dedicated account that I can’t touch to start repaying them (they love me and help me, but there’s limits, and I’m OK with that).
So today was go to the shop, pay them for opening up my car, and then tow it back home. My sibs also are helping me pay off that loan (SEVEN payments left! AAUUGH!) so I can get the title and get the parts/junk scrap money. Most of which will go into the aforementioned account. So now all I have to do is focus on the positive habits.
So feast your eyes on my “new” car. A 2020 Kia Soul. The newest I’ve had, let’s hope it lasts for a long time. And send me all strengthening juju to make these needed and positive changes in my being.
And now, on to Tops!